You Still Have to Earn It

I’m finally starting to catch up on some of my magazine reading. I have the May 2008 issue of The Atlantic right now. In it is a piece titled “This Is How We Lost to the White Man”. It’s about Bill Cosby’s quasi-crusade to change the attitudes and behaviors of many of the nation’s African Americans. In doing so, he is preaching accountability and self-reliance, earning the trust and respect of those around you.

I applaud his efforts. Not simply because he is speaking directly to African Americans, but because it is a lesson we must all understand. No matter who you are, how you were raised, what education or skill or talent you have, in the end, you still have to earn people’s respect and trust. If you are fortunate to enter a situation where that respect and trust for you already exists, you must demonstrate repeatedly that it is warranted.

This reminds of a class my freshman year of college. We were in Dr. Marcus Smith’s Modern Epic Literature class, and the discussion turned toward equality. I don’t quite remember how we got off on that tangent, but Dr. Smith asked one of the female students what it is she really wanted. She started talking about being given equal pay and equality in the workplace. Admirable and which I heavily support. His comment back to her, though, carried more weight than I would have realized.

He said, simply, “Who the f*** is going to give it to you?” She had no answer for that other than the infamous “they”. His point, though, was that no one is going to just give it (OK maybe some will, but they are few and far between). She had to earn it.

What are you doing to earn trust and respect? What are you doing that is destroying it? What can you do better? What are the things that you can and cannot control?

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